Breastfeeding Round 2

So, no matter how many times people told me every child is different and it won't be the same the second time around, it just didn't sink in.  I think that no matter what I "knew", I had this expectation that my babies would be the same and my experience would be similar.  I clearly knew they'd grow up to be different, but for some reason I had this perception that the infanthood would be the same.

Turns out everyone else was right and I was wrong!

Avital and Bar were such different babies!  And though they looked so similar (I am of course using the past tense though Bar is still obviously a baby...give me some leeway here;)), their temperaments are entirely different.

The nursing thing has seriously caught me off guard.  With Avi, I nursed her all the time, wherever we were, for a full year.  When my milk started t dry up around 12 months, I stopped nursing as it was just more frustrating for her than anything, but boy was she pissed off.  She was literally angry at me for a full three days.  It was soooooo sad! She would have nursed forever, with or without milk, if I would have continued.

Bar on the other hand, nursed even more than Avi in those first months.  I swear I nursed her 27 times per day on a good day.  She nursed every 15 minutes during the day and every hour at night.  She was so attached to me.  And as difficult as it was, I kinda loved it.

But around 7 months, I hit my point of beyond deep exhaustion.  The nights were the worst.  I wasn't functioning.  I was just going through the movements.  I couldn't remember the last time I had a full REM cycle.  It was getting painful.

Meanwhile, Bar was getting less and less interested in nursing during the day.  She was too distracted.  Too busy.  She wanted no part of it unless I forced her.

For those of you who've been reading, you know what I wound up doing about her sleep.  The nights got better, but my milk started drying up since she didn't want to nurse as much during the day.

I kept taking my milk making supplements and pumping at night after she went to sleep to keep up my supply, but it seemed like it was getting tedious.  Like I was holding onto something ridiculous.  She's taking the bottle well, happy as a clam, nursing when she wants (1-2 times/day).  Why force the issue?

So a few nights ago I stopped the nightly pumping.  I had been running the idea through my head for a while.  Sitting here pumping while she sleeps cause she didn't want to nurse seems so so silly.

And how long do I hold on to this ideal of nursing for a full year when she's not interested?  I'm half way there, but am not ready to give it up entirely yet.  The comfort of it is what I'm struggling with.  And after all this, I spend a half hour or so with her last night nursing her to sleep.  Like she was sending me a message: I'M NOT DONE WITH THIS YET MAMA.  It was so nice, and calm, and warm, and cuddly.

I guess my plan will be to play it day to day now.  See how long she sticks to it and stop forcing anything.  If she's over it, she's over it.  Right?

What did you all do?  Any advice?  I'd love to hear!

xo